Embracing Myself

 

For a long time, I saw myself as broken. The reason? A learning disability compounded by challenges in physical and emotional growth. I felt misunderstood—even by my own family. In response, I gravitated toward people who were different, often those with personalities that leaned toward the darker side of life. What I didn’t realize was that this opened the door for dysfunctional people to enter my life. Their personalities weren’t necessarily dark, but they weren’t as understanding as I initially believed.

Over time, I began to notice red flags in their behavior. They didn’t hate me, but they were often dismissive of my feelings. I tolerated it because I thought no one else would accept me or truly understand me. Looking back, I see that my perception of myself as dysfunctional drew these kinds of relationships into my life. But now, I understand that I am not dysfunctional. Yes, I have flaws. Yes, I am complex. But I am not broken.

I am learning to see myself as God sees me. And in His eyes, I am beautiful, intelligent, and compassionate. I am perfectly imperfect. Like everyone, I have room to grow, but being a better person doesn’t mean I’m starting from a place of dysfunction. God has never seen me that way, even when I saw myself in that light. To Him, I am whole, and He will continue to guide me as I become the best version of myself.

Walking With Faith - Embracing The Struggle

 

I struggle! I struggle every day to keep my faith. It’s not always easy. There are good days when I feel hopeful. Then there are days when I question why I am here on Earth and what my purpose is. On those good days, I smile, full of life and gratitude to God for what I have been given, always mindful not to take it for granted. However, on those not-so-good days, I feel sad, angry, and full of questions.

It’s always a back and forth with me—good days and not-so-good days. But I continue to pray. I pray for my family, I pray for others, and I pray for myself. I do my best to focus on the good things and not let the bad things get the better of me. It is a struggle.

I continue to struggle, I continue to go back and forth, and I continue to pray.

I pray for answers, I pray for peace of mind, and most of all, I pray because it is the only thing that seems to make sense. Nothing else does.

Yes, I struggle... I openly admit that I struggle. I am human after all.

On those not-so-good days, I consistently pray for one thing: I ask God to continue to walk with me.